Everyone has a past and so did Deb.
‘Please Priyanka, Please don’t hang up the phone. Listen
to me. You know how tough it is to make a call to US.I have
been trying to call you for last three days. Please, listen to
me! I will make everyone happy. Please! Don’t break the
relationship. I will try to make uncle accept us. Please give
me a chance.’ Deb tried hard to control his tears.
‘Deb, it’s over now. The sooner you accept it, the better.
And please don’t harass my dad with your pestering phone
calls.’ Priyanka said from the other end. Her voice was cold
and devoid of any emotions.
‘How can you say that, Sona? We have had a relationship
for the last ten years. How can you break it in a day?’
‘It’s over Deb. I have someone else in my life. Aditya is
my Project Manager and we are going to get married soon.
It’s a waste of time discussing all those crap, sentimental
old things. I am done with you.’ Deb felt his temperature
rising. His heart was pounding loudly. Also, the phone bill
was rising. He tried to give it a last try. How can she leave
me, Oh God! Please, God, Please bring her back to me.
‘Who is this mother-fucker Aditya? Don’t tell me that just
three months in US, and you have forgotten our love.’
Priyanka was working with one of the top IT MNCs
in Kolkata and had gone to Dallas, US for her first onsite
engagement. ‘Aditya can give me all the luxuries of life. Plus,
he is my project manager, so no one can stop my promotion.
You are a loser, Deb.’
‘Oh, I am a loser now! And what about that time when I
spent an entire week beside your hospital bed when you got
jaundice. It was I, who took your dad to hospital when he
broke his leg? I did all the shopping for your whole family
for a month. And now you are saying I am a loser.’
‘Oh! So you did all that to get something in return. Tell
me what you want? I will ask my dad to pay you.’
Deb held his breath for a minute. It pained to let
Priyanka go away from his life. But he could make out that
it was all over. All these ten years, those beautiful nights
chatting over the phone and hugging and kissing. Those
rainy days, movie halls, market places, botanical garden– he
could feel her presence everywhere. The warmth of her
breath, the softness of her touch. How could it be all over?
‘Please Sona, Please.Come back to me…’ Deb could feel
the tears slowly running down his cheeks.
‘I can’t I have already accepted Aditya’s marriage
proposal.’
‘You bloody bitch. One day you will repent it. Go to
Hell !’.
Deb threw the phone away. It beeped a while before
going into total silence. He ravaged his cupboard to get
his cigarettes. He got hold of one and sucked it hard till
it reached its end. Deb looked at the burned out cigarette
stub. He felt just like it. Used, abused, sucked, burned and
thrown away.
As each day passed by, Deb felt the pain making a
formidable hole in his heart. The crowded Kolkata streets
felt empty as he struggled to reach his office in the morning.
Sitting at one distant corner of a window in the lazy tram,
Deb gazed blankly at the roads where they had walked hand
in hand. It made him feel that his world was completely
devoid of any happiness.
As time passed by, the emptiness in Deb’s heart
transformed into an uncanny purposelessness. He tried
to spend more and more time in office. But the pain had
grasped him thoroughly, clenching him in its tight clasp. He
was neither able to concentrate on any of the work assigned,
nor did he feel the need from inside.
Slowly, Deb slipped away from the mainstream. He
rejected phone calls from his nearest and dearest friends,
roamed aimlessly on the streets of Kolkata. At times, he spent
hours sitting by the side of the Ganges. As slowly the defeated
Sun drowned in the shining waters, Deb looked vacantly
at the happy couples flocking on the riverbank sharing a
melting ice cream. Suddenly old memories flashed in front
of his eyes making him weaker and smeared him in pain.
The food he loved most had lost its flavour, the streets
had lost their charm, friends had lost their warmth and what
mattered more, life had lost its meaning.
It went on like this for a couple of months. Deb’s
quality of work degraded to the last level leading to daily
skirmishes with his manager. At last, he felt compelled to
resign and started looking for another job. Things were at
their worst. After a month of futile search, Deb still remained
unemployed. By that time, he had lost all the zeal to struggle
for his existence.
Mitali, Deb’s mother could easily understand her son’s
condition. She tried to contact Priyanka. It didn’t help much.
By that time, Priyanka had already changed her US mobile
number. She tried hard to contact Priyanka’s parents only
to surrender helplessly to their threats of a police case for
harrasment.
It was raining heavily that night. As Deb stood there
lonely in the verandah, he could see the gushing waters
overflowing the city drains. The lightening remained frequent
with flashes of light zapping the nearby jasmine tree in their
garden. It was just then that Deb decided to live no more!
As Deb looked at his parent’s smiling photo one last
time, with a shining razor in the hand, a deep-rooted pain
clenched his heart. He felt like crying but perhaps the tears
had dried up in his eyes. The room was scattered with torn
letters and photos of happy times. Outside, the thunder
could be heard frequently. It was as if someone up in the
heavens was protesting against his next action.
He felt reckless one last time. Deb looked at his glass
window with droplets of rain clinging to it. Priyanka’s face
flashed for the last time with the lightning. Her sweet smile
beamed in front of his face. How much he liked that smile!
How he was mad about her! And then it was all over. The
razor shined the last unforgiving minute in his raised up right
hand, till it came down slashing. It was all over. A puddle of
blood formed on the white carpet as Deb lay there, his soul
still fighting to unite with his creator.
Everyone has a past and so did Deb.
-
-------- From the novel ‘AUTUMN IN MY HEART’
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